


Pour Yourself All Over Me

by archangelwithashotgun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Drunk Sam, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Language, Pining Sam, Sabriel - Freeform, Songfic, slightly nsfw, spnwritingchallenge, stay the night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:02:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7164671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archangelwithashotgun/pseuds/archangelwithashotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(May 2016 submission for spnwritingchallenge on Tumblr)</p><p>It had been easy to allow Gabriel into his room that first night, grinning like a damned fool and beckoning the archangel to join him as he sat perched on his bed and sloshed a half-empty bottle of Morgan as incentive, already out of his mind with soul-crushing despair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pour Yourself All Over Me

It had been easy in the beginning.

The weight of the world had been pulsing down on him, dragging him to the ground with drowning thoughts and anchors of self-loathing in his chest, and it had been too _much_ and too easy to lose himself in a haze of drunken sorrow.

It had been easy to allow Gabriel into his room that first night, grinning like a damned fool and beckoning the archangel to join him as he sat perched on his bed and sloshed a half-empty bottle of Morgan as incentive, already out of his mind with soul-crushing despair.

Out of his mind though he had been, Sam could remember the flash of hesitant indulgence that had crossed the archangel’s face before the emotional slate was wiped clean with first meeting of their lips. 

After that, Sam’s entire world had been heat and frantic heartbeats and sweat-slicked skin and panted moans, and before the hunter had wrapped his head around it Gabriel was inside of him and moving deep and hard and fast and _God_ …

Perhaps God wasn’t the right person to consult.

The next morning brought on the expected head-splitting hangover. What Sam hadn’t expected was the presence of Gabriel, who had been sitting at the desk and calmly examining his fingernails while the hunter raced to the bathroom.

Maybe it was the lingering euphoria clinging to his veins. Maybe it was the effect of pain bouncing around in his sex-addled and sleep-deprived brain. Maybe it was the fact that Sam was just feeling so lonely and desperate and Gabriel was right there and offering this to him…

Whatever the reason, it had been easy.

At the moment.

 _Now_ … Sam was a goddamned idiot.

He should have known. Hell, he fucking _knew_ right from the start that chances of this ending well was highly unlikely, he just hadn’t _cared_.

Now months had passed. Months of fiery, passionate, obsessively meaningless sex, and Sam had had the time to process and comprehend and _think_ and _now_ he understood why nothing good came out of these kinds of situations. Nothing good came out of a purely physical, stress-relieving, friends (were they?)-with-benefits situation. And nothing good _ever_ came out of getting involved with the Trickster.

Unrequited.

It sounded as bad in his mind as it tasted in his mouth. _Unrequited_. Jesus, was that what he was resorted to? A hopeless man pining over someone utterly unachievable, someone who was sure not to love him back?

Jesus, and when did he discover that he _loved_ Gabriel? God, Sam couldn’t love Gabriel. He could not subject himself to this kind of self-afflicted agony, what the fuck was wrong with him? He could not love Gabriel.

But he did. It was a broiling flame coiling around his heart, burning at the tendrils, and it scalded him. Sam couldn’t help it. He felt the white-hot fire within him rear up whenever the archangel smiled or laughed or spoke; whenever Gabriel’s blunt fingernails dug into the thick of Sam’s muscular shoulders; whenever his legs tightened encouragingly around Sam’s waist; whenever Gabriel’s pulsing cock drove deeper within him, spiraling him into ecstasy; whenever Gabriel kissed him, eager and firm and so, so emotionless.

Unrequited.

The flame roared.

::

“We need to stop.”

Gabriel’s movements abruptly came to a halt, his fingers still curled warmly into Sam’s hair and his lips sliding off where he was sucking on Sam’s ear. Sam closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, waiting for the archangel to slide down his lap and face the hunter.

“Stop like ‘I’m not in the mood,’ or stop like ‘I wanna top tonight’?” Gabriel asked, his brows bouncing twice in suggestion as he smirked.

Sam swallowed. “Stop like… _This_ needs to stop. I can’t do this anymore.”

Gabriel furrowed his brows. “What—“

“ _I can’t do this anymore_ ,” Sam repeated, turning his eyes onto the archangel’s confused face.

Gabriel’s frown deepened, his amber eyes flitting back and forth between Sam’s own. Sam watched as realization dawned in Gabriel’s expression, his face going smooth with momentary shock before tightening stoically. Sam shoved down the lump threatening to clog his throat.

“You broke the rule,” Gabriel muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. Sam’s hands went slack around Gabriel’s hips, and he just let Gabriel slide out of his grip and out of his lap.

“Yeah,” Sam managed to whisper, ducking his head.

Through his fringe, he saw Gabriel’s feet pace slowly back and forth in front of him, and after a moment he heard a rough breath sound above him.

“It was _one_ rule, Sam!” Gabriel exclaimed, and Sam meekly raised his head to look at Gabriel. The archangel was gaping at him, a mixture of barely concealed fury and… anguish?

Sam squashed down any hope before it even formed.

“I know,” Sam assented, nodding his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You—!”

Gabriel cut himself off, running a hand through his hair, his eyes wild and huge as he stared at Sam. The hunter hunched in on himself in a cower, waiting in tepid anticipation. It was silent for a long while, and Sam was shifting minutely in discomfort underneath Gabriel’s stare. And finally, Gabriel broke out into a soft laugh, the smile creasing his face startling Sam as the archangel once again ran his fingers through his hair.

“This…” Gabriel chuckled lightly, his laughter coming to a halt, and the archangel nodded as his grin became taut and his eyes steeled over. “You’re right. This is over.”

Gabriel stalked out of his room, and the fire twisted and flared, burrowing a black hole in Sam’s chest as a shivering tear slid down his cheek.

Weeks went by, and Sam missed the warmth. No matter how many sheets and blankets and clothes he used and wore, the cold settled into his bed, seeping deep within his bones and blood. The only source of warmth he had was the inferno inside of him, which had only intensified and flared up even more since the day Gabriel left his room. Heat and ice battled within Sam, putting the hunter through the wringer every single day and tiring him out past comprehension.

Sam was so tired. So fucking tired.

Gabriel was not helping matters, flitting in and out of the Bunker whenever he pleased, back to smiles and pranks. Sam could have sworn that it was much more exaggerated than what was usually normal for the archangel, but perhaps it was more wishful thinking than fact.

Regardless, Gabriel was acting as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn’t spent the previous months engaged in what was supposed to be a mutually beneficial sexual relationship. As if Sam’s emotions had never come into play. Though, Sam had known right from the start that emotions and feelings were never even supposed to play a part in this, so he couldn’t begrudge Gabriel his avoidance.

Sam tried his best to go back to how it had been before. He really did try, but he couldn’t remember how he had interacted with Gabriel before any of this, and now it was all he could do to even look at the archangel without wanting to tug him into a frantic kiss or burst into angry tears.

But Sam fought the cold of the early mornings and late nights, and he bit down the scorching heat that clawed deep into his chest. He fought, and he managed.

For about three weeks, he did.

::

It happened much like it had in the beginning, except this time Sam wasn’t in his room and was actually slouched in one of the kitchen chairs when Gabriel wandered in.

Sam blearily smiled up at the archangel, who was tensely staring back at the man sitting at the table. Sam raised the bottle of… something – he couldn’t even remember the name of it anymore – in invitation. Gabriel scoffed lightly though he was smiling loosely and approached.

“You’re drunk,” Gabriel stated simply, grabbing the bottle from Sam’s hand and taking a swig, placing himself at the seat on the wide side of the table.

Sam chuckled, nodding slowly. “At the time… seemed like a good idea,” he replied, his thick slur doing well to hide the warring emotions clogging his voice.

Gabriel pressed his lips together as if he heard them anyway, placing the bottle back onto the table, just slightly out of Sam’s reach. The hunter blinked harshly as a layer of blurriness crossed over his vision, and he looked up at the angel.

“I miss you,” Sam whispered, tilting his head to the side.

Gabriel swallowed, his Adam’s apple quivering in his throat as he glanced away from Sam and back toward the bottle.

“You need to stop,” Gabriel muttered, and Sam couldn’t quite clearly deduce through his alcohol-addled mind whether he meant stop drinking or stop pursuing. “There was one… I _can’t_ , Sam. And you need to stop.”

So he meant the latter.

Sam shifted forward in his chair, leaning on his propped elbows, and observed as Gabriel slid himself away from the hunter ever so slightly. A wave of fresh grief flooded through the man, and Sam’s lips trembled as he pushed himself out of his chair, almost on his knees as he ducked around the corner of the table separating them.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything,” Sam murmured. “This doesn’t have to be like that. Gabriel, _please_. I _miss_ you.”

Gabriel swallowed again, more roughly this time. “Sam—“

“You miss me too, I know you do,” Sam whispered, unable to keep his hands back as his palms cupped around Gabriel’s thighs and slid upward. A wobbling sense of triumph resounded in him as Gabriel closed his eyes and shivered at the contact, and Sam himself shook with the intensity of the contact he had missed so dearly. “Just… Just one more time? It doesn’t have to mean anything, Gabriel, I promise. _Please_.”

“You’re not going to feel like this in the morning,” Gabriel hissed firmly through his teeth, his eyes closing tighter as Sam’s hands trailed up his sides, fingers hooking underneath the hem of Gabriel’s shirt and scorching the skin beneath.

“I’m gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what happens… ‘cause I already lost you,” Sam whispered.

Gabriel’s eyes snapped open at the tiny confession, and Sam was so far gone in how he much drunker he felt himself getting in Gabriel’s whiskey eyes that he missed the shards of heartbreak piercing through the orbs.

Sam’s hands abandoned Gabriel’s shirt and curled around Gabriel’s jaw. The archangel flinched, but his hands snapped up to wrap tightly around Sam’s wrist almost possessively, and Gabriel exhaled shakily through his nostrils.

“You miss me too,” Sam murmured, and suddenly he was pressing chaste, soft kisses to Gabriel’s lips. The flames within him licked higher and higher, warming his face, and he gasped as he felt Gabriel’s grip tighten and his mouth push lightly against Sam’s in response.

“ _Sam_ ,” Gabriel breathed, loosening his grip on Sam’s wrist to clutch at the back of Sam’s skull.

Sam moved in closer, kissing Gabriel deeper, his heart throbbing furiously and the flames climbing and flaring. Gabriel huffed out a groan, parting his mouth as if by instinct to allow Sam’s tongue inside.

“This… This isn’t—“ Gabriel murmured, trying to speak as coherently as he could around Sam’s tongue. “Mmm, this doesn’t mean anything, right?”

One of Sam’s hands slid around to clutch the back of Gabriel’s neck while the other ran down the expanse of the archangel’s back, wrapping securely around Gabriel’s waist as Sam stood up, pulling Gabriel up with him.

“Nothing,” Sam agreed hastily, parting from Gabriel’s mouth with a quick inhale and nibbling kisses down Gabriel’s jawline. “This means nothing.”

“Just…” Gabriel trailed off into a groan, arching into Sam’s embrace. “Just sex?”

“Just sex,” Sam repeated, mouthing along Gabriel’s neck.

He could feel Gabriel nodding in jerky, stiff motions against his lips. “Okay.”

Sam repressed a relieved whimper, screwing his eyes shut tight against the ripping onslaught of sobering tenderness sweeping through his body at the consenting contact of the archangel in his arms. He sucked harder at the spot underneath Gabriel’s ear, and he only had a stifled cry as warning before Gabriel jumped up, hooking his legs around Sam’s waist.

The tendrils of blazing heat struck deeper into Sam’s chest.

The hunter groaned more openly, lips grazing up towards Gabriel’s mouth again as he half-stumbled, half-carried the archangel out of the kitchen and toward his bedroom.

::

“You lied.”

Sam licked at his lips, blinking weakly up toward the ceiling as he ran his hand down Gabriel’s slick back.

The roaring inferno within him had, oddly enough, died down to embers. It still warmed him, and he still felt it. But as he and Gabriel crashed into his room and collapsed onto his bed, as they connected for the first time in weeks, and as Sam reached down to hoist Gabriel’s leg higher around his waist and as he met the glimmering amber orbs, his beautiful light source in the otherwise darkened room…

Suddenly, it didn’t feel so unrequited.

“Yeah, well…” Sam whispered, feeling the most sober he felt the entire night as he laid there, Gabriel pressed against his side. He swallowed, and he sighed. “… So did you.”

Gabriel shifted his head where it lay on Sam’s chest, his golden-blonde locks sliding against his skin and matted down with sweat. The archangel took in a deep breath, and Sam felt Gabriel’s stomach press against his abs with the movement.

“You scare the absolute hell out of me, you know that?” Gabriel said in a small voice, and Sam frowned at the foreign vulnerability and actual fear quivering through Gabriel’s words. “You… Fuck, Sam, you really have no idea how much you scare me sometimes.”

“Gabriel…” Sam muttered, sliding his hand up Gabriel’s back to rest against the back of Gabriel’s head, fingers digging into the damp hair soothingly. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“I mean…” Gabriel’s arm tightened around Sam’s waist as the archangel swallowed audibly and hushed out a shaky breath. “You… You weren’t the only who broke the rule.”

Sam’s heart lurched fiercely in his chest, and his chest deflated with a sharp exhale. He twisted his face further towards Gabriel’s head, pressing his lips tightly against his scalp.

“… Stay the night?” Sam mumbled thickly, his voice muffled.

Gabriel took in another breath, and the archangel shifted once more, pulling himself further up Sam’s body until his face was nestled warmly in the crook of Sam’s neck. Sam’s free arm curled around Gabriel’s side, stunned as he held the angel against him.

Sam felt Gabriel’s jaw stiffen against his collarbone before Gabriel exhaled slowly, kissing Sam’s throat softly.

“Okay,” Gabriel croaked, trembling as he once again tightened his grip around the hunter.

Sam sighed and, just as if it had been a candle in the wind, the fire of unrequited love extinguished within him.


End file.
